


The Rest Is Silence

by kelex



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Drama, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-11 07:15:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/795335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kelex/pseuds/kelex
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A terrible misunderstanding with dire consequences.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Rest Is Silence

## The Rest Is Silence

by Kel

Author's website:  <http://crystalshard24.tripod.com/sentinelindex.html>

This is a death story. It is not a happy ending. Please don't read it and then complain to me because it upset you. I'm warning you ahead of time.   
The characters do not belong to me. They belong to Pet Fly Studios. I am making no money from this; I am doing it for sheer love of the characters and my own personal fulfillment. 

Dedicated to Lisa, Duncan's Twin. My friend. Cry, big sister.

* * *

The Rest is Silence  
By Kel 

Where did it all start to go wrong? We were friends--at least I thought we were friends. I guess I was wrong about that--wrong about everything. 

How can one person be so wrong about another? Even when he let me die and brought me back, I knew he cared, at least a little, or he wouldn't have bothered, right? 

God, listen to me. Here I am, still defending him. To myself. As my life lay in burning, smoldering ruins around me, I defend him. But even as I think this, there is some part of me that refuses to acknowledge that what I think now is true. I knew him, I knew all of Jim, inside and out, and I refuse to believe that the Sentinel--fuck that, the _man_ \--that I knew could be capable of this. 

But he was. 

He supported me through my dreams. I gave up the diss; he supported me through police academy. I got teased about my hair, so I cut it--even though I knew he hated it, he complimented me on it and I think it grew on him. I wanted to be his lover, and he loved me. 

He never loved me. 

I want to ask him why. I'm afraid to ask him why. Then again I'm afraid not to know. It's like the last piece of the puzzle and then it can end. Everything can end, because he was my everything. 

Nobody knows where he is. There's been no answer at the loft, been no answer at the bullpen, not even on his cell phone, and he hasn't been seen for four days. Simon wants to go and look for him but I tell him no, not yet. Let me look first, I know Jim and I know where he will hide when he is hurting. If I find him, it means that all is not lost because he does care. And maybe, we can put our lives back together again. 

The first place I go is the loft, because his favorite trick is to turn off the phone. The lock hasn't been changed yet which is strange for Jim, a week and he hasn't changed it. It's locked but my key opens it and as soon as it opens I know that something is terribly, horribly wrong. 

The loft is a mess. Ransacked. Shredded, almost. There's barely a clear space on the floor. Only my old room is untouched. I call out his name but no answer. Picking my way to the staircase, I climb the stairs, and I see his arm hanging over the side of the bed. The only way he wouldn't have heard me is if he was zoned out or unconscious, but the closer I get... oh my God. "Jim No!!" 

I see now why his arm was hanging so limply over the side of the bed, I know now why he didn't hear me. He will never hear anything ever again. Never see me again. "jim." I know he can never hear me again but I shake him by the shoulders anyway as the gun falls out of his hand. "Jim!" Maybe earlier I could have done something but he has left me now. There is a letter with my name on it clutched in his other hand and I pull it out, opening it up to read. Four sentences that I would have given my very soul to hear him speak aloud. 

//I lied. I do love you. I can't live without you, Blair. I am so sorry I hurt you.// 

"Oh Jim... Jim, no." I am crying now I know, screaming maybe too but I don't care now. I always hated guns and now I know why. First one ended his life, now one will end mine. My note, on the bottom of his, in answer. 

//I know. I never doubted you, Jim. I will see you soon.// 

Eyes look your last; arms, take your last embrace, and lips, O you, the doors of breath seal with a righteous kiss... here's to my love, and thus, with a kiss, I die. Cold... Jim is so cold but soon we'll be together again and I will warm him with my love. 

_muffled shot_

The rest is silence. 

Kel  
Dec. 2001 

* * *

End The Rest Is Silence by Kel: dragonbane4@aol.com

Author and story notes above.

  
Disclaimer: _The Sentinel_ is owned etc. by Pet Fly, Inc. These pages and the stories on them are not meant to infringe on, nor are they endorsed by, Pet Fly, Inc. and Paramount. 


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